Words inspired after a week of high anxiety, and after reading this fab article about modern exhaustion in women: https://bit.ly/2wSOr4O
Just this morning I had to turn down an opportunity to be involved as a facilitator on an online program basically because I'm stretched too thin in too many areas of life. As much as I loved the host and the opportunity, I knew I was overly comitted and sailing way too close to an anxiety episode.
I've lived a lot of my life on adrenaline and often enjoy it and even glamourised it. But, as I've got older and my responsbility load and levels of tasks and busy-ness has increased, anxiety is getting louder, more often. When anxiety kicks in I'm no good to my kids as stressed mum takes over, and I eat more sugar, drink less water and go into my very well practised fight or flight warrior mode of survival and I often break things/relationships or do a 360 on scenarios that were actually fine as they were. I think that's called catastrophising self sabotage!
It made me sad, to let go of a lovely collaboration and potential, but I had to choose. My focus right now is grounding and building. Grounding my home life. Taking care of my boys. Grounding my work. I've chosen to commit to a further counselling training for the next two years and balancing that alongside single mum life and paying the bills is going to be my biggest stretch that requires heaps of emotional and practical support so I can do it without burning out, over commiting or internally combusting!
Last night I had an incredible listening and coaching session with Olivia Seck. When I was about to throw the towel in with my deepest fears taking over.. she said HOW can you work with your fears to juice the wisdom out of them and not let them take over and drive the car. Fears can be helpful as a passenger but they are rubbish as the driver. With her support I was able to clarify what I'm struggling with, and which fears are useful to listen to, those which are out of my control how to gently accept their existence.
We created an action plan and the key was building my support system around me.
So, this was the learning of my week. A large undoing. Letting someone down (who I still retained a wonderful connection with thankfully), and reaching out for help.
The first step is admitting you have a problem..say NO more often...then leaning into wise support.. receive that support fully... see the humour in it all, smile..make a plan and then lovingly keep going! 💛✨
Note to friends: I may well struggle with doing any of these things consistently but to my friends out there - I ask you to please watch out for me and from time to time ask me if I've drunk enough water!
#tortoiseandhare #selfcareloop #dareingtorest #roarmojo #restphase